The best ideas of mice and bird brained men

So I set off to Scarborough with my sticker book of birds and thought I would stick up some of the sea birds.  I put a seagull onto a bench which was covered in guano and this made me think of my favorite joke-

"Whats the brown bit in bird poo?"
I don't know what is the brown bit in bird poo?
"Thats also bird Poo"

My brother thinks i don't have a real job and refused to wait while I found suitable spots to place my bird stickers - even after I showed him the nice pictures and explained that my iPhone could do HDR pictures and focus anywhere I tap on the screen - so although the picture isn't that amazing it is a completely impossible picture to take without loads of post work on Photoshop- therefore it is completely appropriate to take it on an iPhone and anybody who knows about photography could work this out by looking at the image.  As I was explaining these very interesting details he had vanished and was trying to win a pappa smurf on a crane grabber machine.

We went into a William Hills and I put a bet on a horse called Sol to win the grand national.  It's only the 3rd time I have ever placed a bet the second was part of an art project and I bet on a horse called David Beckham which was racing in Australia and lost.  But when I came out of the bookies and got around the corner I had left my bird sticker book which was a bit of a crises - I rushed back and a young woman in a yellow T shirt had put it behind the counter for me which was a considerable relief.

Anyway just before we left me and my brother were tucking into scampi in a basket and a pied wagtail landed on a big concrete ball just next to us.  Everything fell into place and I asked Kim to find the wagtail in the sticker book - she with the skills of a trained archivist found it quickly but was reluctant to pass it to me as it was neither in the sea bird  or cliff dwellers page of the book.  I managed to persuade her to pass it me as the bird was actually there at the seaside in real life and she slowly saw the inevitable logic of the situation.

Anyway my camera was set to video and I missed the bird by a fraction of a second.  I then told everybody that I wanted to wait until a wagtail landed on the ball again.  For some reason the group felt this request was both unreasonable and hilarious.  I told them of my idea to find places where it looked like birds would land and set up camp and film them until a bird landed as part of the project.  They also thought this was hilarious.

Then we went for a walk and I stuck an ostrich on a nice black sea patina covered lamp post. Kim said "That's not even a seabird" I pointed to the section in the sticker book - it said "Some extra birds just for fun, ask an adult for permission before you stick them up" I felt vindicated but also wondered how long I would have to wait to see an Ostrich from that vantage point even with the 20 pence telescope.  I said I thought it looked nice and the project was about Kantian aesthetics.