Hope

The new years not quite started yet but I find myself blogging to avoid filling in my tax return. I've had a nice break so far and have just been looking through some films on you tube - we had a busy year really, finishing off the Ruskin project and in summer ways trying to build the new normal. If I'm honest though I do really miss having our times planning and making in the Ruskin studio- in retrospect it was what I have always thought been an artist would actually look like. It's not easy now to see whats next - we are waiting to see if are successful in securing arts council funding for our major action research project and although I'm keeping things crossed we have had a good run of rejections. Most years at this time I get a bit jittery about what is coming next I used to consider applying to do a PGCE or maybe a fine art MA in Sheffield - I've stopped this now - I've also stopped applying for the Clore fellowships as after seven attempts it got a bit embarrassing. My good friend Johan says that as we come to middle age we need to find 'Wisdom" to cope with the approaching reality of death. He talks of wisdom as been different from knowledge or acceptance or something in between he is an expert on Ernst Block so explains it a little bit through stories - this one about a man and a Kaftan sticks in my mind - I can't find it anywhere to quote but it sort of says that virtue is not something we earn with hard work anyway a man flies across a river on his Kaftan. Johan is sometimes very confusing but he is a good person to know. Anyway Tom showed me this video a couple of months ago and it reminded me of him I started off doing this post thinking it would be really positive and bright and optimistic about next year and ended up talking about death wisdom and the void. I didn't however say I was going to do a PGCE so perhaps this is progress and a little bit of wisdom.